I Wanna Be a Star

I was watching Dancing with the Stars last night, and I decided I am going to be on that show. I am currently weighing the pros and cons.

Cons:

• Bloody, painful feet. They show the stars with their feet covered in blisters and band-aids when they take off their pretty dancing shoes.
• It takes me a while to learn things (can you say kickboxing?) especially the older I get. You have very little time to learn these complex routines, and I wouldn’t want Maksim screaming at me like he does the stars on the show and making me cry. I don’t cry like soap stars where there face looks normal and there is just a single tear running down their face. When I cry, I have the ugly cry, with red splotches on my face, my nose runs and my face gets puffy. I wouldn’t want the fans at home to have to see that. 
• This looks really hard, mentally and physically. Every interview I watch, the prior stars say how it is absolutely the most grueling thing they have ever done.
• The physical injuries, throughout the years I have watched broken toes, sprained ankles, torn achilles, neck injuries, and even Marie Osmond passing out. If I passed out my daughter would disown me. I would keep my stunts to a minimum … that’s where things go terribly wrong.
• I’m old. A lot of the stars are in their late teens and early twenties. I’m not sure my pride could stand having this 37 year old, sad body right next to a twenty year old’s. I guess Kirstie Alley is doing it though.

The pros:

• The costumes. I am all about bling and these babies are full of it. It would be so fun to have some fancy shmancy new glitzy get up to wear each week. I would try to keep the skirts short, though, I have seen to many people trip on their own skirt.
• The bodies. People’s bodies look amazing after this show, and mine could definitely stand some improvement. Stars have lost up to 30 lbs before the first episode even airs! By week 3 most of them have a six pack! I want a six pack! (I would actually even settle for a 2 pack but whatever). Each week their legs are more toned, and they start to look like real athletes. I need some of that.
• The hair and make up. They show the stars at rehearsal, and they are drenched in sweat (another con, I don’t like to sweat) and look like crap. Then on show day, they come walking down the stairs in their fantabulous costumes, with the most gorgeous hair and makeup. They are completely transformed! I want to be transformed! If you saw me sitting on the couch in my jammies right now you would agree:  I need a transformation.
• Two words. Spray tan. Oh yes this stuff works miracles. Not only are you spray tanned but you are being sprayed by the best in the business. It makes you look thin, toned, and cellulite free. I need some of that on a daily basis.

So all in all, I do think the pros win out. Now I know I may not have been officially invited to the compete yet, but I know it’s coming.  And when it does, I will be ready. In my head I will have my costumes picked out, my partner chosen and my music ready. Until then, my friends, I will be waiting by the phone.

Thought I would show you the two tables I’m currently working on.