As you may remember last week, I had a night where I was woken by animals all throughout the night. Now that isn’t an uncommon occurrence in this house, but last week I had two extreme nights in a row. Wednesday night I ended up with a whopping two hours of sleep when it was all said and done — so Thursday, I was dragging.
My hubby was off work (and Friday also) so I was excited to have him home to help on some honey-do projects. We did lots of those, and even went to a new-to-me architectural salvage shop which had some amazing antiques with some amazing high prices to go along with it. It was sure fun to look though!
So Thursday night arrived, and I was exhausted. I went to sleep around midnight (early for me), and I woke up around 12:30 to hear my daughter in her room talking on the phone. I was ticked. Her phone gets shut off early on school nights, no exceptions. I went storming in her room ready to raise heck, only to find her phone exactly where it should be, and the kiddo carrying on a brilliant conversation in her sleep — actually mumbling in her sleep was more accurate. Okay, so I got my heart rate up for no reason. So I lay there for another 30 minutes before I can go back to sleep.
1:15 – Bright lights shoot on in every direction of the room, What the heck? Are we being robbed? Then Nicki Minaj starts blaring full blast!! What is happening? The dogs are barking ready to pounce on some intruder, but it’s coming from the computer in the corner! I stumble over and start blindly clubbing keys, the sun-like monitor causing pain to my already bloodshot and now blurry eyes. The music is deafening with Nicki screeching “Super Bass” in my ears.
I hurry to shut my daughter’s door, so it doesn’t wake her up (I hope her conversation ended well) and continue attacking the keyboard to stop this horror. How can a computer just start up in the middle of the freaking night on its own? How can it be so loud, and so bright, and where in the world is the “Please, Nicki, Stop Screeching” key on this stinking keyboard?
Then it just magically stops on its own. OH. MY. LORD. If I thought my heart was beating fast before it’s nothing compared to what it’s doing now. Scared the holy heck out of me. After a few deep breaths, I return to bed. I lay there for almost another hour before falling back to sleep.
2:20 – YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. My once darkened room has been taken over by the laser light show again. I am jolted awake again, knowing the music was on it’s way. It was so loud I was certain Justin Bieber himself was having a concert in my basement! IT’S JUST SO STINKING LOUD! The dogs are going nuts again, I’m frantically slamming buttons trying to make “If I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go, Keep you on my arm girl, You’d never be alone” stop from piercing my eardrums.
No, No, No! I was quickly flying past Bieber Fever to Bieber Rage! This goes on for a good 3 minutes (which feels like an eternity) and then again it just stops. My computer is possessed. This time I unplug the thing before FloRida has an opportunity to wake me up. If it turns on again I’m calling the priest.
3:15 – I’m still laying there with “If I was your boyfriend” floating through my sleep deprived head, but I’m changing the lyrics, “If I go to sleep now, I might just be OK. It still might be a great day, ’cause now it’s Fri-i-day.”
I went to sleep around 4, and my daughter’s alarm goes off at 5:30. UGH!
7:15 – I fall back asleep.
8:15 – The phone rings. It’s some magazine subscription company wanting to know if I want to renew my subscription to Latina magazine. Ok, I’m about to lose it here. Number 1, I am not, nor ever will be, a Latina, and 2. since I am not, I obviously have never subscribed to this magazine – which I tell the man on the phone (I also remind him that IT’S 8:15 IN THE MORNING). Of course, he sees this as an opportunity to boost his sales with a new subscriber.
Now let’s review: in the past 2 days I have had 4 hours of sleep; I have been woken up by 3 dogs; a child talking in her sleep; a possessed computer … twice; an alarm; and now someone calling at a fraction past sunrise trying to get me to resubscribe to a magazine I never subscribed to in the first place, and after telling him “No, gracias”, he persists. If I could crawl through the phone line right now I would inflict bodily harm.
Good news, I finally got him off the line. Bad news, I was so tired, I may or may not have a new subscription to Latina Magazine. Viva La Sleep!
8:30 – Fall back asleep.
9:00 – The neighbor-across-the-street’s 2 German shepards start barking hysterically. SERIOUSLY. Then the next door neighbor’s dog starts barking, then the other neighbors basset starts howling, which of course then means my dogs are going nuts. KILL.ME.NOW. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this point. Sleep is obviously not happening. So I swing my legs over the side of the bed, take my first step, right onto a very sharp, softened-then-hardened-into-a-dagger, dog bone. Hello Friday!
Speaking of a sunshine morning, here is the other end table/night stand I finished. This one took a bit more time than the other since the doors were more ornate. I am asking $50 and will put it on craigslist tomorrow.
Have a well rested day!
PS. If you see me out today pay no attention to the dark circles under my eyes, and if I can’t put together a coherent sentence — you understand why.